Friday, October 2, 2009

When I Dream Of Bloggers...

...Weird shit happens. I should note that this doesn't happen often - actually I rarely enough even remember dreams. But in the wee hours of this morning, I was dreaming - in and out of sleep, about Orac, Dr. Steven Novella and medical woomeister, Bill Maher - thanks I suspect, to Dr. Benway's comments here and here. (this is all in regards to Maher receiving the Richard Dawkins Award at the Atheist Alliance International Convention)

The last time I had a blogger dream - indeed, the only other one I remember, was a steel cage non-death match between Greg Laden and Comrade PhysioProf, over who was going to get to be my post grad mentor. The funny thing is, I am really not that arrogant and not only are neither of them in the field I am going into - they aren't even in the same field themselves. I honestly think it was a combination of finding the thought of them in a steel cage match terribly amusing and suspecting that both of them would be excellent mentors that did it to me. In any case, it was a fucking brilliant dream and well worth remembering. And no, I am not going to say who won. Suffice to say, if they were in my field and locale, I would be totally thrilled to have either as a mentor...

So in my dream, not only was Orac a computer, so was Steven. And this takes place in deep space, aboard a science vessel - where there is to be a competition between Orac, Dr. Novella and Maher, for the Richard Dawkins Award. I am unsure whether it was something Orac or Dr. Novella did, or if it was the science vessel itself rejecting him, but moments after boarding the ship, the cabin he was in was decompressed and Bill Maher was ejected into space (to be picked up by the shuttle that dropped him off - no one was irrevocably harmed during this dream), thus removing him from the competition before it really got rolling.

So the competition was soon down to the two worthy competitors - Dr. Novella and Orac. At first they fought computer against computer, until it was realized that both are just too good natured to actually battle each other for the win. There was some tampering of circuitry by their respective well meaning fans, but both were balking at these potentially damaging attacks. Then someone came along with the idea of motherfucking battle bot avatars. The battle was fierce and grueling, but the outcome was inevitable for several reasons. So at the end - in that holographic rendition of a Roman Colosseum, Orac eventually vanquished his frienemy, Dr. Steven Novella.

First and foremost, Orac simply has vastly more experience as a computer. On top of that, Orac is just a touch more "vicious" than Dr. Novella - vicious of course being a relative term, as both computers are really very decent sorts. And finally, it was my dream and while I really do like Novella, I actually read Orac's blog with far greater frequency.

I have to say though, amusing as the dream was (especially seeing Maher pop out that airlock - seriously, that was totally fucking rocking), I really rather would have slept more soundly and not woken up before five am for the second morning in a row...

And while I won't admit who won the battle between CPP and Greg, I will leave you with the visual that haunts me to this day (keeping in mind I only have a picture I made up, of what CPP actually looks like - just trust me, it is haunting). The steel cage non-death match, involved loin cloths, bear grease and bowie knives...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!11!!!!11!!!

4 comments:

Comrade PhysioProf said...

Laden tried to off me with a home-knapped flint, but I ducked and then delivered a decisive chop to the fucking throat that took him out.

Greg said...

Oh yeah???? In you DREAMS Physioprof!!!!

Or DuWayne's dreams, as it were....

sinned34 said...

Whenever I read about other people discussing their dreams, they always sound so linear and interesting. This makes my dreams so disappointing, because even when I have a dream that I think is pretty cool, when I try to analyze it later it turns out that it was very scattershot and really quite stupid.

I hate my brain...

DuWayne Brayton said...

sinned34 -

First - Cthulhu is going to eat you!!!

Second - keep in mind that the only time I remember dreams, is when I am having them half awake. I am not just an impartial observer at that point, I am an active participant - albeit a less than entirely with it one. And I am still not able to remember them exactly when I remember them at all. They are ultimately shaped by my waking memory of them, on these rare occasions.

And this is exceedingly rare for me...As often as not, I dream about things I am working on, which is really fucking irritating.

Do not hate your brain. There is nothing wrong with not having fucking crazy cool fucking dreams rolling around, or vivid fantasies. The tradeoff for my own creative bent, is fucking painful and brutally harsh sometimes. It is why I am as fucked up and have been a fuckup for most of my life.