Friday, October 16, 2009

Note to Fatass Self...

Yes, that extra twenty-five, thirty pounds has impacted your ability to climb McDanald's play structures...

Definitely not a good idea to have three goes.

4 comments:

Ambivalent Academic said...

Thirty pounds isn't what concerns me...isn't there a "you must be shorter than [this cardboard cutout of the hamberglar]" to climb this structure" sign?

;)

Ambivalent Academic said...

ermm...."Hamburglar"

DuWayne Brayton said...

Ahh, but parents are "allowed" too. Or more to the point, their children often exert a great deal of pressure on them to climb with them. The almost two year old was more than a little reticent about going up their with big brother alone (though eldest is actually a totally kick ass big brother).

I actually got super pissed (though hid it well) when we were at Chik-Filet today, right across from the American Museum of Science and Energy (the kids meal toy - graduated cylinders). They went into the indoor playground and there were two kids who were taller than the sign. Those two and the two who were legit, same family, were totally fucking obnoxious - running up the slide, shoving past seven 3/4 eldest, patiently hauling youngest up to the top and generally playing like little self-entitled asshats who wouldn't know discipline if it smacked their precious little behinds.

Had to leave after one go down, because eldest was prepared to go and have some words with a kid twice his size about knocking over his baby brother. On the upside, the "mother" of the hellspawn overheard him and looked properly mortified. On the downside, she didn't do a fucking thing about it, mumbling something about kids being rambunctious like that.

I bit my tongue to avoid pointing out that *my* kids, eldest with his behavioral issues and all - were capable of fuckingwell behaving in public. Now if school was working out so well, we would be set. I have to find what solace I can in her cringing every time smallest turned, pointed and scowled at the ruffians, piping out with "Ean." For a twenty two month old, he has a fucking scowl that could just about strip paint.

Jason Thibeault said...

I think the problem in your second story is that you were at Chick-Fil-A. I mean, seriously, that's practically child abuse in and of itself. I'll assume you were starving and had need of something roughly resembling food or you'd all starve, so you get a pass. While your kids are awesome, other-mom was obviously not mortified enough to do anything about her loin-spawn, so I have to assume she was trying to get even with them in the long run by giving them coronaries.