If only I had an extra seven grand to toss about

I would have the best computer ever...


I will have some discussion about the boys - including an hour stuck at a rest area in the middle of nowhere, while I disassembled my steering column to start the van later.  I will also post about ignorant fucking morons and the implications of a paper (PDF) that shockingly reveals that the metric to test whether employment screens are biased, turns out to be fatally flawed. But first, a bit of my fantasy life. 

It would start with this, set into this.  It would have two sets of these, cooled by this.  It would also contain one of these and six of these.  It's primary drives, would be two of these though.  It would live right here in this pretty case, assuming I can make the stupid blue light go away.  It would use this power supply.  It would be controlled with this mouse and keyboard set, though sometimes might be controlled by a handy little remote keyboard with trackball.  I would use this lovely thing for a monitor, while also piping a split to the tee vee in the living room - which, since we are dreaming, is a sixty some inch flat panel, hidden behind bookshelves on sliders most of the time (thus the need for the wee remote keyboard).  I would use these speakers in my home office, but would totally go with Bose in the living room.  I honestly don't see a need for optical drives, since with twelve TB of storage and the ability to use this desktop as a server, I am not sure what the point would be. 

I would, however, need one of these, these and this + a hell of a badass internets connection.

We won't even begin to talk about my five odd thousand dollar laptop.

Making Music in Lansing

I am in Lansing for the weekend, visiting with old friends and making new music. It was a rather last minute decision and I am really glad that I did - my old songwriting partner and I are getting set to create a fair bit of new music together, for the first time in nearly a decade.

It's really great to reconnect musically - both of us have grown quite a bit musically. At the same time, what we have fooled around with is very recognizably us - just us a little more grown up. We have little idea what we'll do with it, but I'm really excited to be making music with Larry again...

But tonight will be the D&D game, set in a world of Larry's own creation. I an not generally a huge fan of role playing games. Not that I'm not enough of a geek, I just generally don't like the rules and the way most people play. But Larry's game is a great deal of fun. And while there are certainly rules - strict rules even, it's his game, set in his world and if there is a compelling enough reason for changing a rule or making an exception - he does it. All that, and his theatrics make it rather more fun than games I have played with anyone else...

Not sure when I am heading back home, excepting that I need to head that way by tomorrow evening. My schedule is pretty open, which has worked out well. I just spent the last couple hours chatting with my very dear old friend Merril, who I was, back when I was using a lot of hallucinogens, convinced was god. He was rather frustrated by the fact that I would mention this to whomever I was with, whenever I saw him.

All in all, this has been a very enjoyable weekend.

Long Distance Relationships...

It's really hard sometimes, to be in love with someone who lives a million miles away. There are just so many times that I so desperately want to be with her and she with me. It helps a lot that we have email, text messages and long conversations on the phone. We are quite capable of really making up for being so far apart, by talking for hours and falling more deeply in love. Knowing the logistics are so very difficult - it will be months at best, before we're able to see each other in person. But it's ok, because Juniper is a truly remarkable and brilliant women, who is worth the difficulty and who remarkably finds me worth it too.

Today and this evening however, we have both been in somewhat introspective moods (mine wouldn't have anything to do with listening to my Joni Mitchell station on Pandora - nope, nope, nope). And I think this is the hardest it's been, because all I wanted to do was be with her, enjoying a companionable quiet. And while it felt good to lay there in my bed on the phone with her, enjoying the quiet and knowing that she was there at the other end, loving me the way I love her - it just wasn't the same as actually being there with her, enjoying the quiet together.

I am ultimately rather new to this feeling. I always assumed that how I had loved before was my capacity and that was all there was. There was that and my love for my boys and nothing more was possible or even plausible. But now I love someone so much, that even my aching to be with her - actual pain - feels better than anything I have ever felt for another person in this context.

I love loving, being in love and being loved like this. Accepted with my flaws, my brokenness and fears - loved by someone so very intelligent and so impassioned by a desire to understand the world around her. Someone as insatiably curious as I am...

In The Meantime.....

I am working on a post about the research I am doing for my first paper. It involves the harm reduction approach to addiction, or as Patt Denning Phd puts it, substance use issues. The post I am working on is actually a discussion of Dr. Denning's terminology, which I heard in this podcast. Wherein Dr. Denning is interviewed by Dr. David Van Nuys and provides a wonderful introduction to harm reduction.

Unfortunately, I don't think I'll be finishing that post tonight. Surprise, surprise, I've gotten a little distracted. In part, I am distracted by Over the Influence by Patt Denning, Jeanie Little and Adina Glickman, which I picked up for the paper. But I'm also a bit distracted by a headache and will probably be putting Over the Influence down before long and maybe picking up a little brain candy to feed the geek inside me.

A quick interjection about beggers...

I am basing this assertion on what I have observed in Portland and mostly intend this for my local readers, but it is probably relevant in more places than this.

It is with much dismay, that I have noted a horrible discrepancy between the "take" that different groups of panhandlers take in. To whit, there are a few different groups out there.

My favorites, are the ones with something to offer in return. One group is a number of folks in substance abuse recovery. They are forbidden by their supporting organization, to beg. So they are provided with boxes of candybars to sell in return for donations. Another major group that does this, is one that sell copies of a homeless issues newspaper. Finally, you have the entertainers. The problem that I have, is that these are the least funded of all the beggars. Which is sad really, as they have gone out of their way to actually provide something in return for your change.

Then there are the disabled, whether physically or mentally. They get the midrange of funding. I have no problem with these folks, indeed, I try to take one or two a week, out to lunch. (actually, I try to do that for some member of this group or the last) I wish I could do this more often, but I am not exactly rolling in the dough. The thing is, that I discovered it is really a lot of fun. Especially with some of the more colorful members of the mentally ill.

So now we get to the last and most highly funded; the lazy. The lazy are not mentally ill, not physically disabled. Now I am the first to accept that crap happens. I am all about a safety net to help a brother out, as it were. But many that fall into this category are there by choice. The thing is that they are far more mobile, than the others. They find creative ways to convince others to give them their hard earned money, all the while never even considering actually going to work. Yet they get far more money out of people than the other two groups.

So if you see someone who has something to offer for the change they are asking for, please give it to them. If it's the homeless paper, take it and read it. If it's a candy bar or somesuch, either give far more than it's worth, or politely decline to take any. Encourage the folks who are trying to do something. They, along with those less able, actually deserve the help.

Now back to our regularly scheduled blogging. Ominous as it is, private security contractors wins out. With one vote in comments and two by email, all for that one, there we go. It was rather atop my list too, so sorry Donna, I will get to the abolition of marriage ASAP. (I also am shortening the list of posts on the front page, in hopes of getting it to load faster)