Sunday, December 27, 2009

An open letter to lazy, obnoxious parents at McDonald's

I accept that going to McDonalds means going to a place where kids are free to be rather kidlike. Doesn't really bother me that much, because as a parent I understand that kids aren't perfect little angels all the time. But just because you chose to take your spawn to McDonalds, doesn't mean they are free to do anything and everything while you sit on your lazy ass - refusing to be bothered by your nasty little issue.

It is especially fucking obnoxious when your spawn are several inches taller than the max height and still they play - trampling children who are much smaller, much younger and far better behaved. It is one thing when they are running up to help a smaller sibling, it is quite another when they are trying their best to destroy the play structure, climbing around the outside of it, hanging from the bar and kicking their feet (as well as small children who are passing) and running down very small children in their haste to get through the structure. Control your fucking vile monsters please and keep the larger ones off the fucking play structure.

My children and the other small children have a right to play on these structures (and park play structures as well) without being shoved around, trampled and knocked off by your moldering pile of uterine fucking waste. My eight year old and even my two year old are better behaved and will continue to be better behaved, than your shit eating waste of oxygen. Why? Because I fucking parent and our personal issues aside, so does my children's mother. You, on the other hand, aren't fit to raise a fucking dog. My eight year old should be allowed to play and have fun, instead of having to protect his baby brother and other small children who get in the way of your mistakes.

If you can't control your children, keep them locked in a closet. McDonald's is most certainly not the appropriate place for them.

7 comments:

Juniper Shoemaker said...

I think you may have to give up on McDonald's. There seems to be no hope for it.

Comrade PhysioProf said...

D00d, why the fuck are you taking your kids to fucking McDonalds? That shit is fucking vile.

DuWayne Brayton said...

I rarely take the boys to places like that. It is something that eldest gets because he has been exceptionally well behaved - vile as it is, the kids fucking love it. And on the occasions when the playland isn't entirely overun by fucking vile shiteating little bastards, they have the totally big fun.

Unfortunately, they are all too often overun by asshats...

Science Bear said...

Just found your blog and am so glad you posted this... I recently returned from the grocery store.

On another note, asshat is one of my favorite terms for a postdoc working in a lab near mine.

Cath@VWXYNot? said...

The drive-through is your friend

DuWayne Brayton said...

Yes it is, but playland doesn't exist for the drivethrough and I'll be fucked if I am going to get that wretched garbage for anything less than playland...

Juniper Shoemaker said...

At least some parents have taken your advice to heart.

:)