Something I haven't really discussed much, is my rather extreme discomfort in crowds of people - at being out in public in general. It is exhausting to me, to have to deal with being surrounded by strangers, yet as a student, I am surrounded by them on a virtually daily basis. And as an avid user of public transportation (when living where decent PT is available), I am often pushed in close with them.
One of the things that I do to help myself feel better, is to listen to music or audiobooks on my mp3 player. There are occasions when I manage to wander down the hall without it, but generally I don't actually get very far before I pull it out and put it on. Listening to something that the people around me are not makes me feel like I am at least experiencing a little bit of privacy. And for the record, no, I cannot manage grocery shopping without it...
What I am wondering, is if you might happen to think this is rude. To what degree you might think it rude. Whether you think the degree of rudeness would outweigh the discomfort of not wearing it (for me, it is roughly the difference that an average dose of valium might make).
To be clear, I am not the least bit discomforted by interpersonal communications. When the number of people I am talking to gets up much more than four or five people, I start getting rather uncomfortable - my preference being for more intimate gatherings. Being in front of a crowd doesn't bother me in the least. I have spoken to crowds of a hundred plus and as front man, I have played for audiences of more than a thousand - didn't break a sweat. And being in class, or moderating support groups is not nearly as uncomfortable as being stuck in a random crowd or group of people...
So what do you think? Is it rude of me to walk around with earbuds in all the time?
5 comments:
From your description it doesn't sound rude to me. It's not like you're cutting people off mid conversation or being otherwise pointed about it. (I’m picturing House doing it to kill a conversation if there are any fans of the show reading.) What you’re doing sounds like perfectly reasonable behavior to me, typical of an introvert personality. It strikes me as more rude for people to expect you to be uncomfortable just so you match up with their narrow expectations.
If I’m right this article, Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts, may help shed some light on the situation and provide some validation. Of course I may also be way off base. You decide.
http://briankim.net/blog/2007/10/top-5-things-every-extrovert-should-know-about-introverts/
These days, I'm not sure anyone would even notice! If walking around borged (with phone clipped to ear; Bluetooth?) excites no comment, I can't see why earbuds would even register. And if walking around talking on a cell phone (sometimes to someone not 10 feet away; I've seen it!) while ignoring every single thing going on around doesn't qualify as unacceptably rude, listening to an iPod or such shouldn't be an issue.
cicely
I like the kind of earbuds that actually fit inside my ears and block out external noise. I can't wear them when on a bicycle. It feels dangerous when I can't hear sounds around me very well.
When I'm walking, I'm generally not in crowds, but when I'm in the grocery store, I feel somewhat uncomfortable not being able to hear my surroundings well.
I suppose it's different with the earbuds that don't really block much in the way of external sounds. I don't think you're being rude at all. Rudeness is in the mind of the beholder, as so many other things are. You don't do it with the intention to be rude, so any rudeness taken by others is their own problem
If listening to an iPod in public is rude, then I have the worst manners EVER. I too constantly listen (mostly to podcasts) when I'm running errands or on my bike or walking the dogs. I don't think it could be considered rude unless you're in a situation where you're supposed to be paying attention, like at a lecture or concert or something.
Though I once had a museum security guard tell me to stop listening to my iPod, because if there was a fire I wouldn't be able to hear the alarm. Seriously.
Kristin, did he see his eirony?
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