I love to be loved...

Not sure exactly who is sending it - it may even be the company that makes them, but I am extremely grateful to whoever decided that I should have the newer generation e-cigarette. I got an email from the company a couple days ago, confirming the order to my address. Kind of freaked at first, because the order is for the E9 with several cartridges - an order totaling about $100 including shipping, thinking there was a mistake that I was going to get charged for.

There wasn't. I emailed them and was simply told that it was not charged to my account. They didn't say that they actually sent it, but given the language issues and that they use a third party for "help" questions, that doesn't rule it out. And I had mentioned to them that I have been writing about their E9m, which is a very different model, they may have decided they wanted me to write about the new generation nicotine vaporizer.

In any case, I will have the opportunity to write about the E9 within the week.

But if one of my readers decided I should have one, I would like to say thank you ever so much. And just in case anyone was wondering, I really love books. I am all about the books really. Especially books by people who want to send them to me and find out what I think about their books. In fact, if anyone sends me their book to review - I would be all about reading and reviewing it.

I almost forgot to give an update on the smoking, while I am on the topic...

I am still smoking, having steadied at about 3-5 cigarettes a day, sometimes only two. I had a couple of days that went to six, but have been doing less far more than more. I do seem rather stuck on the last few, but that is far better (and cheaper) than the average of 20+ I was on before. Mine does seem to be a common experience with the e-cig, though there are plenty of folks who manage to quit tobacco altogether rather quickly.

Ya Think (bloody damned morons)

I needed a little break from my final paper, so I thought I would take the moment to share this little nugget of wisdom I found in The Cognitive Therapy of Substance Abuse. Keeping in mind that this is in the context of the first session with a new client:

For example, the cognitive therapist would be ill-advised to speak in the following manner:

"We're going to be examining your thinking processes, to understand the kinds of cognitive distortions that lead you to engage in maladaptive behaviors such as drug abuse and antisocial behaviors."

I'm sorry, but if you are honestly stupid enough that it would ever cross your mind that saying anything at all like this to any patient would be reasonable, you really need to find a career that doesn't involve cognitive therapy of any kind. And if you are stupid enough that you would consider saying that to an addict you would actually like to see get help, you really need to consider a career that doesn't put you in a position to be a risk to others - like pressing buttons that go bing.

What irritates me about this example, is not simply that it's so completely absurd, it's that there are a host of more subtle mistakes that a therapist could make that aren't shown. For example, I could see a therapist saying the following, especially if said therapist was new to this and rather nervous:

"So John, what I'd like to do is explain a little bit about how cognitive therapy. I'd like you to feel free to ask me any questions you might have about this type of treatment, so don't be shy. We're going to try to understand how you see things, how you feel about your life, who you are - about using drugs. This is important, because it can give me a good idea of where your coming from and where things went wrong. This will also start to help you understand yourself a little better and help you turn your life around in a direction you would be more satisfied with."

Do you see the problem ? It's subtle and could actually turn out to be language use that the client will be comfortable with. But there is no way that the therapist can know that in the very first conversation with a client - especially a client who is a substance abuser. Even when they were the one to initiate contact, drug abusers are notoriously reticent about help seeking. Quite often the first session is going to be the only session - even if the therapist does everything right. So this first session is walking in eggshells - you will not get a second chance to fix any mistakes you make.

"...where things went wrong." is the problem statement. Yes, they are there because something is very wrong and presumably things went wrong somewhere. Odds are pretty damned good that if they're in your office, they even know that things went wrong somewhere and assume that you know this too. The problem is that verbalizing this smacks of judgment. The client may well decide you believe that they are wrong as a person. Even if they don't go to that extreme, it is likely to both anger them and flare up their shame response. One simple word like that can easily cut the chances that the client will return in half.

I don't want to give the impression that this book is horrible. Actually I think it does a fairly admirable job, though I disagree rather strongly with some of the base assumptions of the authors. It is a book intended to be supplemental material for the practicing cognitive therapist who is getting involved in treating substance abusers and addicts. Ultimately, this is really my problem with the aforementioned scenario - while the example they give should be absolutely obvious to anyone who was able to become an accredited cognitive therapist, the example I provide might not be as obvious. And while making a "wrong" statement to any patient should be avoided in initial sessions (with most clients, at all), it is especially critical when dealing with addicts. If an example of what not to say under the circumstances were necessary, it would make far more sense to use one that is more subtle - a reminder to reinforce what the cognitive therapist has already learned, probably repeatedly, over the years they've spent in school.

As a complete aside, I will note that under pressure and feeling rather crappy, I have managed to smoke only three cigarettes thus far today. Although my Joni Mitchell station on Pandora is helping an awful lot. That and my e-cig...

First Report on the E-Cigarette - And Seeking Contributors

Yes, I really am writing about it just six hours since I arrived home to find my e-cig had arrived - there's a very good reason. By this point in the evening, I am usually going on my - oh probably fourth by now - maybe my fifth (the time is going by quickly). I usually smoke about half a cigarette at a time.

I have smoked a few hits off my second cigarette since I got home. That would be, well, considerably less than usual and I just got the damned thing.

It is definitely different, kind of like a cross between smoking a light cigarette and hitting a slightly clogged pinch-hitter (cannabis smoking implement (yup, I won't define alexythemia, but a pinch hitter...)). This thing really rules, even if it is not all that much like actually smoking - which I suspect I will find to be a good thing in the future - similar enough to help me off the smokes, different enough that I think it will be easier to get off of.

The vaporizing liquid, is flavoring, propylene glycol, water and, of course, nicotine. The nicotine is actually synthesized from tobacco, but (they claim) that what is left is just nicotine. But even assuming that some of the other elements are left, it's vaporized, not smoked.

While I definitely think it is too soon to say for sure how it will work for me, I am now comfortable with the idea of advertising it on my personal blog. I have heard enough people talk this particular one up now, that I am very confident that I can provide you with an honest assessment of how it's working for me and tell you how it's worked out for the folks I've talked to about it. Any questions are totally welcome at any point.

I will get a small amount from sales, five percent for most, ten percent with less expensive, maintenance supplies (disposable parts, mostly cartridges). I just want to disclose that, before anyone accuses me of being a shill - because frankly I am really excited thus far. But keep in mind that it's not much in the general scheme and if I sell anything at all, it will likely only defray a fraction of what I am spending on it (which is a lot less than smokes).

I will not however, be advertising this on the Quitters Blog. I did not start that blog to sell stuff, rather it's a side-effect of deciding to quit smoking. I am interested in starting a community there, not make a profit.

So we are up and running over there, but I am needing your help - whether you smoke or not, work in that field or not. If you have a blog, please link to Quitters Blog and let your readers know that we are looking for people to contribute. And if you have the urge to throw it in, I am also interested in hearing from anyone with other substance abuse/addiction problems, who would be interested in joining a similar venture - on another collective project. I have been considering ways to do this for a while and am realizing that I am simply not likely to have time to start a full on forum, any time soon.

If anyone would be interested, it is not a problem to remain entirely anonymous and post. I will be happy to offer anonamail-in posting - whatever it takes to make folks comfortable writing about their experience. I would prefer, as much as possible to just make people team members - and folks can still hide their blogger profile, while front page posting as a team member. I just don't have a lot of time to put into it, though I will certainly post on all the blogs (mostly cross-posts from this blog)....

I got my E-Cigarette!!! - Calling For Smokers Ex and those who want to be be Ex...

Addendum - I am looking for contributors - I am setting up a quitters blog, see below. No longer considering it - doing it. Email me or leave a comment.

And it's up over here - please leave a comment there or email me if you are interested in contributing...

Just came in this afternoon, while I was at school and it rocks. It will take some getting used to, but I think this is definitely going to make a huge difference in my run to quit smoking.

And while I'm on the topic, a visit from one of my favorite commenters at Dispatches, Abby Normal, got me thinking. Abby posted a really kick-ass comment, describing his experience with quitting smoking. Would there be any interest from my ex-smoking readers, as well as those who are trying to or who are planning on quitting, in a blog project for you (and me) to post about our experience? I would love to throw up another blog around here and allow you all to post - with team posting privileges for those who want them.

I would also be really happy to add medical, sciencey types and addiction counselors to the mix, should they wish to contribute posts as well.

I think that this could be of immense benefit to all of us, especially those of us who are still smoking. If there is interest and it works out, I would love to add blogs for other addiction issues - or possibly a forum. Though if the latter was developed, it would require volunteers to moderate. And keep in mind that I really can't devote much time to making this go, which is partly why I would just prefer to give those who want it, team posting privileges. This would not be something to abuse and there would have to be some rules - number one being to keep it topical. But I think this could be pretty rocking big fun, as well as built in support for us quitters.

Please let me know what you think.

And actually, I should also note that though I've gotten out of the habit since I resurrected this blog, I am all about having guest posters. I will be somewhat selective about what I post and will admit that my reasons may be pretty arbitrary, but I am all about hearing from you, if you want to post. I do recommend that you ask me before you write the post, so you don't end up writing something that I don't really want - but I really do like the idea of getting some other voices up around here and outside of comments. Finally, please don't assume that because you disagree with me on something, that I won't be willing to post your views - there are some things that I just won't, but that is not a common restriction for me.

In Which DuWayne Discusses Quitting Smoking

I would like to state before you read further, that I discuss e-cigarettes in this post, as a potential aid to quitting smoking. I want to be very clear that there is little to no evidence supporting the safety or efficacy of e-cigs as a smoking cessation tool. While it is reasonable to assume that these are safer than smoking (they are basically nicotine vaporizers), it should not be assumed that they are safe. I look at it as a harm reduction technique for quitting smoking, not as a safe alternative to regular cigarettes.

I have tried several times over the years, yet the best I've managed is a couple months. And even then, I broke down five or six times and had a smoke. I just don't have the luxury of putting it off any longer - the price has gone way beyond my ability to afford it, my body needs me to quit and my children need me to quit.

Before the first (when the federal tax went into affect) I stocked up on about a months supply of tobacco and decided that when that was gone, I am quitting. One of the reasons I discussed the medications I am currently taking, was that the Clonidine and Welbutrin, aside from being found effective for both bipolar and ADHD, are also useful for quitting smoking. Welbutrin is good for smoking specifically, while Clonidine is good for treating the symptoms of withdrawal from heroin, (possibly) alcohol and tobacco. But with all of that, I am still rather nervous about quitting.

My smoking addiction is far more than just nicotine craving, more even than habit. There are some fairly deep seated issues involved with my smoking that have made it extremely difficult for me to even consider quitting. And honestly, I really love smoking - in much the same way that some people love fine beers, great whiskey or excellent coffees (all of which I am fond of). Combined, this just makes it very hard for me to quit - yet quit I must.

So I am arming myself with tools that I am hopeful will make it easier for me to quit and quit successfully. Now I already mentioned the meds, which are not really for quitting smoking, but the smoking cessation properties of which I definitely considered when I discussed them with my doctor. I am also discussing smoking and why I smoke with my therapist. Finally, I just ordered something that I am very hopeful will get me the rest of the way. Already vetted by a couple of people at school and a few folks I am in email contact with, I bought at E-cigarette.

The E-cigarette, is basically a nicotine vaporizer that is shaped like and hits like a regular cigarette. It even tastes a lot like a cigarette, though according to the four people I have discussed it with, it definitely isn't exactly the same. And it does come in several flavors, though I am not the least interested in trying any but the tobacco flavor - at least for now.

I bought one of the cheapest models, found here. This same model is available with only five cartridges, for about eight dollars less or can be bought with even more cartridges - the cartridges of course becoming cheaper the more you buy. I also bought a bottle of the liquid that goes into the cartridges, to see how well that would work out and to get some variety within the tobacco flavors. I am really looking forward to trying this out, as all four of the people I know who've gotten one are really pleased with it and have been very rapidly weening off of actual cigarettes. One of them switched entirely from actual cigarettes, as soon as he got it and while he occasionally wants a real one, seems to be managing well enough.

I am also looking forward to utilizing this product as a step-down method for quitting nicotine as well. The cartridges and liquid comes in different strengths, including nicotine free. As well, they advertise an herbal formula that purports to help reduce the nicotine craving.

I will definitely be writing about slowing down and quitting smoking, as I make progress. I will also be writing about the E-cigarette specifically, as I am hoping that it will be as effective for me, as it seems to be for the folks I know who already have one. Regardless of how it works for me, by many accounts (there are forums) this seems to be a very effective tool for a great many people.

I would note however, that there is little to no evidence as to the safety or efficacy of E-Cigs. On the other hand, they vaporize a mixture of nicotine, glycerin and flavoring, rather than burning actual tobacco, which alone is rife with chemicals and to which more chemicals are often added.

I will also email some of the medi-bloggers I know and see if I can get them to weigh in on the e-cigs.