tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283977111907193493.post6770695075596969974..comments2023-04-02T07:30:36.643-04:00Comments on Traumatized By Truth: Drugs and Children, the Conversation that Never EndsDuWayne Braytonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04074683871047219790noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283977111907193493.post-62659362606723534392008-03-16T14:37:00.000-04:002008-03-16T14:37:00.000-04:00Thanks Kehrsam, good thoughts.Thanks Kehrsam, good thoughts.Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04069893764658122257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283977111907193493.post-39011116108581970742008-03-11T16:33:00.000-04:002008-03-11T16:33:00.000-04:00Beth: I think you and DuWayne are both making vali...Beth: I think you and DuWayne are both making valid points. Thanks for the comments. But the two positions are not mutually incompatible. By all means teach your children to abstain; at the same time, teach them what the risks are.<BR/><BR/>The key, I think, is presentation. If you present a given object (sex, alcohol, drugs) as a forbidden fruit, that is how it will be perceived. Fascination andkehrsamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07171116260744108226noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283977111907193493.post-69141414034975263682008-03-09T12:29:00.000-04:002008-03-09T12:29:00.000-04:00Beth -Again, it's not about providing choices. Be...Beth -<BR/><BR/>Again, it's not about providing choices. Be clear and firm that there are a lot of reasons for abstaining from the sex and drugs. For such things as inhalants, I wouldn't even present it as part of the drug issue, if you're concerned about sounding like your advocating safer alternatives for getting high. Just tell them that using inhalants is very likely to cause irreparable, DuWayne Braytonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04074683871047219790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283977111907193493.post-40727924926234806772008-03-06T09:38:00.000-05:002008-03-06T09:38:00.000-05:00Well I can agree that honesty is the best policy, ...Well I can agree that honesty is the best policy, and every child is different, so what you say to one may not have the same impact as another. I just thought giving alternatives seems plain wrong and contrary to what you think that it does seem to give your blessing when you talk in terms of making choices other than teaching your child to stay away completely from drugs or sex.Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04069893764658122257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283977111907193493.post-55870376642506283002008-03-06T02:34:00.000-05:002008-03-06T02:34:00.000-05:00Beth -I think your misunderstanding me here. I am...Beth -<BR/><BR/>I think your misunderstanding me here. I am not suggesting that parents suggest safe alternatives. Ideally the kids will never engage in risky behaviors, but it is quite a lot to assume that they won't, simply because we tell them not to. <BR/><BR/>What I am saying is to make very clear that there are far more dire consequences to some behaviors than there are for others. DuWayne Braytonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04074683871047219790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283977111907193493.post-50514171506403366862008-03-05T19:09:00.000-05:002008-03-05T19:09:00.000-05:00Struggling with this issue hugely. Where I am fro...Struggling with this issue hugely. Where I am from there is a lot of crack and meth available- and of course weed. A family member was kicked out of school for coming in high on weed. Started looking into all of the drugs of choice available- I was horrified by how prevalent it actually was in the community and how easily it could be obtained. Weed does seem like the lesser of the evils, andAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283977111907193493.post-65140781272424406992008-03-05T14:02:00.000-05:002008-03-05T14:02:00.000-05:00I apologize, I should not have posted anonymously....I apologize, I should not have posted anonymously.<BR/><BR/>I do not see where it is bad parenting to say to my child "this is bad for you, don't do it" rather than "this is a safer alternative, but is still not such a good idea". If they listen to you and respect you, then I think they will do as you ask of them.Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04069893764658122257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283977111907193493.post-75702683317082143632008-03-04T20:02:00.000-05:002008-03-04T20:02:00.000-05:00Drugmonkey -I am going to put up a quick post disc...Drugmonkey -<BR/><BR/>I am going to put up a quick post discussing statistical significance, hopefully this evening. You raise a very important point and one that I would be remiss not to mention. Thanks for stopping and mentioning it.<BR/><BR/>Abel -<BR/><BR/>Glad you stopped by. I hadn't really though of the idea that you referring to the legal angle, rather than your personal opinion. GladDuWayne Braytonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04074683871047219790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283977111907193493.post-14596433828368327892008-03-04T13:12:00.000-05:002008-03-04T13:12:00.000-05:00I attended what was perhaps the perfect size HS fo...I attended what was perhaps the perfect size HS for risk assessment, if you were paying attention. <BR/><BR/>It was small enough that you really <EM>knew</EM> just about everyone in your graduation year and a big fraction of the other years, especially if you were on a few sports teams. This meant that when the inevitable DUI death, suicide, drug OD's, kid's dad beating his mom to death, heck Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283977111907193493.post-91972744449647983302008-03-04T10:01:00.000-05:002008-03-04T10:01:00.000-05:00DuWayne, this is a very thoughtful post and gave m...DuWayne, this is a very thoughtful post and gave me some pause to reflect even more on my statement that you cited above. In its original context, it read:<BR/><BR/><I>Adopting a parental attitude of complete substance abstinence is likely to be as successful as endorsing sexual abstinence, but condoning any substance use in minors will get you thrown in the slammer and have your kids taken awayAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283977111907193493.post-69452539059709380832008-03-03T19:00:00.000-05:002008-03-03T19:00:00.000-05:00Anon -First, please pick a name. If you post with...Anon -<BR/><BR/>First, please pick a name. If you post without one, I don't care if it's absurdly fake, I will delete the comment.<BR/><BR/>Second, what is irresponsible is to assume that your kids are actually going to say no. It isn't even a case of doing a bad job, kids raised by the very best of parents who do everything right, can still end up making bad choices. They just might end up DuWayne Braytonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04074683871047219790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283977111907193493.post-26420686463217727532008-03-03T13:48:00.000-05:002008-03-03T13:48:00.000-05:00Great stuff, DuWayne. My only caveat, perhaps expe...Great stuff, DuWayne. <BR/><BR/>My only caveat, perhaps expected, is to question the degree to which we can be "realistic" about relative risk. From the totally naive parent, to the drug abuse scientist, to the ex-substance-using-adolescent-turned-parent. <BR/><BR/>In an old, old, Pryor routine in which he says something like "you can't get hooked on no coke!" in the midst of a routine about his Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283977111907193493.post-79506619216495035432008-03-03T13:16:00.000-05:002008-03-03T13:16:00.000-05:00Anonymous, I was raised the same way you were and ...Anonymous, I was raised the same way you were and have never done anything, just like you. However, all my friends did and certainly all my friends in college engaged in this type of behavior. This included the prom queen, the good kids, the sorority girls, the football players, the law school students, everyone.<BR/><BR/>A friend of mine told me that when he first tried marijuana and didn't die Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283977111907193493.post-91003624754590328172008-03-03T08:23:00.000-05:002008-03-03T08:23:00.000-05:00I'm going to have to disagree with you on this, I ...I'm going to have to disagree with you on this, I was raised the exact way you are saying I shouldn't have been, and I never did any drugs or had sex outside marriage, and I have no regrets. I see nothing wrong with telling my child, just say no. The lesser of two evils is still evil and I do think giving them supposedly safer choices that are still bad choices doesn't make them do them, but Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com